Keep on going.

Late nights and early mornings, the clock doesn't stop ticking. Hard work gets exhausting,
but the clock doesn't stop ticking.

What if we could freeze time, a moment? Just for a minute. Take in every emotion, every detailed aspect of the moment. What if when the battery to the clock runs out and it stops which meant somewhere right now, time is still. Wouldn't that be incredible?

I wonder how it would be if we could do such a thing. It's interesting to think of or maybe be able to relive a moment and not by scanning through pictures and reminiscing but actually be in that moment all over again, like we're going back in time.



 

Just a thought.

Death is something we'll never get used to, whether it's someone we know or someone we hear about. When the thought of someone no longer coming back hits us, we take the time to just appreciate everyone and everything we have. But it sucks, how a tragedy has to open our eyes about the short period of time we have here.

Life is too short but the longest state of being, it all depends on how you live it. So why be angry? Why hold grudges? When we can forgive and forget, forgiveness gives us a peace of mind. That's what sucks about us all. We say and do things we don't mean or sometimes we don't say or do enough. I mean appreciating our loved ones, because out there someone has it worse than you and I.

Take a moment, be thankful. Always be thankful. If you wake up tomorrow morning, we're blessed to be given another chance. Another chance to fix, improve your mistakes. Don't take another minute for granted.

2013

As if it's already 2013. 2012 legitimately felt like three months. A lot happened in 2012, good and bad but it's the same deal every year. We all start the new year with new goals and motivation, some of us pull through while others give up.

This year I didn't make any resolutions knowing that I would probably forget about them half way through the year. This year I decided to do something different. I got myself a glass translucent jar, with a label that wrote 2013 I stuck it onto the jar and from the beginning to the end of this year I'm going to fill it up with good things that happened in 2013 and on New Years Eve I'll open up the jar and read each good thing.

I don't know, maybe I'll try this out for 2014 as well. I think it's a great way to re live memories that sometimes pictures can't capture.

Time

Close your eyes,
Can you see it - nothing but darkness,
Can you feel it - nothing but cool air,
Can you hear it - that's time.

Time we're consuming,
Time we're losing,
That minute that just passed, will no longer be back.

They say time heals everything,
that's a lie.
We just cover up the hurt that we feel inside,
built up on hope and endless lies,
What's there really to say, if it's always goodbye?

Time is a cycle,
It could be forever or it could be now.
The things we say, the decisions we make;
it all adds up with time.
Do good to receive better, it's karma
Time is everything until it's nothing.

Time is motivation,
It's now or never,
Don't hold yourself back by thinking of forever.

Close your eyes,
Can you see it - nothing but darkness,
Can you feel it - nothing but cool air,
Can you hear it - that's time.

- Ankita S

Untitled.

Nothing I ever do is good enough eh?
I try and try and try but it all seems to fail.
You appreciate others when I'm doing so much,
You complain that I don't do enough, well then what if I stop doing everything altogether?

You're that one person I believed that would support me.
Was I ever wrong..

Another world.

There's another story,
Behind her smile
That she hides away from the crowd

There's another world,
Behind her brown eyes
That she goes to visit,
On the nights when things aren't right

All the hope, all her fears;
All the promises she hears
Gone to waste

She feels alone,
Even when she's surrounded by friends
She knows in the end,
She'll end up on her own

She feels useless,
Because everyone always gives up
She looks on the bright side,
But she keeps messing up

When things get tough,
Where does she go?

To the world behind her brown eyes,
The only place called home
- Ankita S.

Where did I go wrong?

It's interesting how life works isn't it? How one minute your living in colour, the next it's all black and white. A relationship that took minutes, days, weeks, months and years to build can be broken down in a snap of a finger. But it's the process of forgetting, the process of letting go that takes time. Because, those mintues, days, weeks, months and years can't be easily thrown out. If you gave it your all, it'll be awhile until you can actually smile without hiding any hurt behind it.

I hate getting to know people. Because, 1 out of those 100 people will start to mean something to me and well this is how the cycle goes. Trust -> Attachment -> Disappointment
There actually hasn't been a time yet where that cycle never lead to disappointment.

Maybe I'm the disappointment? It would make a lot of sense, since everyone gives up on me. They all do.
I should never put anyone before me. I should never want to make the other person happy, screw what I want. That's easy to say, but so hard to do. Where did I go wrong?